Isolation can sneak up on us. It happens slowly, then all at once. We get trapped in our illusions, the lifestyles we have worked so hard to build, and one day we look around to realize that we are alone, and have been for some time. Fantasies of perfection can consume us to the point where we no longer have it all. Striving to achieve them has cost us everything we value in life.
On this topic, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:
“Rarely do we recognize the construction of our enclosures until they are already built. We are fooled by their illusionary appearance: they look like security, prestige, power, influence, money, and acceptance. It is only when the construction is completed that we realize that we are enclosed in splendid isolation. When did it happen? We looked down at our work or our lives for only a second, and then looked up to find that our illusions of security have become a benevolent prison. Prisons have room for fantasies, but prisons have little room for dreams.
We have misjudged our priorities. We do not want the isolations of success at any cost. Somehow, we thought we could ‘have it all’ and now all of it has us.”
Perfection is all-consuming. It can be isolating. We may be so driven to achieve our ideas of perfection that we become absorbed, neglecting the people in our lives. Pursuit of money or power distracts us from what matters, so we focus on accumulating more instead of spending time with family or friends. When we finally achieve our dreams, we will have no one to share them with if we allow our relationships to deteriorate like this. What matters in the end? Life is about connection. Connection between ourselves and the world, and the humans and animals in it. What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with?