Wisdom is being aware that life is not always linear. We all handle our emotions differently, and sometimes we need time to process our thoughts and feelings. Wisdom is being aware of ourselves and allowing ourselves the space and time we need to process and heal. We aren’t always equipped with the tools we need to handle something when it first happens to us. We might not be ready to face our trauma or grief for a long time, many years even. This kind of self-awareness is not only wise but kind.
On this topic, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:
“Wouldn’t it be boring if our lives were completely linear? How dull to have completely worked through each experience and trauma right when it happened!
Yet we all become resentful when old skeletons that we believed were long since buried begin to rattle their bones. How inconvenient when the effects of events that happened at age five begin to erupt at age thirty-five! How disquieting when memories long hidden from consciousness signal us that they are ready to be worked through!
Can we believe that our own inner process knows when we are ready to deal with old issues? Can we trust that the very fact that they are coming up is an indication of how much we have grown and how strong we are?”
It’s uncanny how well these topics align with my life. Recently, some feelings have been resurfacing that I have not felt in a long time, if ever. I am finally strong enough now to process the loss of my mom and the years of grief I endured fully. I have the emotional strength and maturity, not to mention the support system and knowledge, to be able to handle these complex emotions. It is certainly inconvenient, but also beautiful in a way. There is something so healing and soothing about feeling our sadness, allowing ourselves to mourn and cry. While it is shocking to have things come up from the dark depths of our past which we may have repressed for years, it is restorative to feel them now. We must embrace them in order to be able to let them go.