Choices are part of being human. We make choices every day. While our addiction may make us feel as if we are trapped, we are never without options. We always have a choice, even when it seems like we don’t. Our only choice may be how we respond to a situation, our attitude about it, but to recognize that and then choose is the difference between feeling trapped and feeling in control. Choices are powerful. We empower ourselves when we recognize the choices we can make.
On this topic, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:
“One of the most devastating characteristics of the addictive process is that our perceptions, our judgement, and our thinking become so distorted that we come to believe that we have no choices and are completely trapped. We have the illusion that there are only two choices (usually to stay or leave) and neither looks attractive.
We do have options. We do have choices, even if the only choice available at the moment is to see that we are stuck and to accept that stuckness. Amazingly, when we truly accept our stuckness, our situations begin to change. Often it is not the situation that is keeping us stuck but our attitude about our situation.”
The universe has a good sense of humor. Whenever we try to force a situation, if we want something too badly, for example, and we show a lack of faith that the universe will provide for us, it never really works in our favor. The second we let go and accept our situation though, things change. The situation gets unstuck. A resolution is found. This happens when we search for a job, a house, even companionship in the form of a spouse or beloved pet. This was the case for me. I was searching for weeks for a cat to adopt. She had to be a female, free to a good home or at least under $100 to adopt, and for some reason, I had in mind a little gray and white cat with a pink nose. After a few fruitless weeks of searching, I finally gave up and accepted that perhaps the time was not right. It was then that one of my friends posted a picture of an adorable little kitten in need of a good home that fit the bill. The rest, as they say, is history. She and I have been inseparable ever since. This happens all the time with all sorts of situations in life. We might feel trapped in a bad situation or by our previous bad decisions. We might feel stuck in a cycle of addiction that is negatively impacting our lives. It’s important during these times that we realize we always have a choice, and it starts with our attitude.