April 24 – Being Projectless

How fitting that today’s topic should be on being projectless. Yesterday was my last day at work, and I am taking a few days off before starting my new role in a different company. As such, I am currently projectless. I have been preparing myself to enjoy this time by relaxing and doing nothing. I want to take it all in and give myself the time and space to properly mourn the end of one chapter of my life before beginning the next. As a woman who does too much, I move from one project to another without ever stopping to pause and reflect. It is hard for me to allow myself idle time which is not put to productive use.

body oof water

On this topic, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:

“When most women finish a task, they heave a sigh of relief, pat themselves on the back, and give themselves a well-deserved break. Not so for women who do too much. The ‘peace of the Done’ simply does not compute. There is no experience to which we can relate this concept.

Fortunately, as we let ourselves see that we are not just talking about doing too much, we begin to have a different perspective.

We begin to learn that completion and beginning are not the same process. We begin to see that the completion of an important project has every right to be dignified by a natural grieving process. Something that required the best of us has ended. We will miss it.”

Again I am struck by how the universe seems to tell us exactly what we need to hear at the right moment. Today’s topic is that message for me. I always view endings as simply a new beginning, and while that can be true, it doesn’t mean I need to rush straight from the finish of one project to the start of the next. I am not good at doing nothing. Instead, I fill my downtime with a multitude of projects and tasks, some of which are at their core busywork. It is important that I learn to settle, to be comfortable sitting with myself in the silence. I want to feel at peace when I’m still. The world and myself do not always need to be in motion. My body and mind would do good with some rest. Besides, endings deserve their own time as well. They are a season in our lives, and it’s important we respect that and not rush over them. The end of a chapter of our lives calls for time to grieve the loss. Endings are bittersweet and even a bit sad, regardless of the new beginning they signal in our lives. We still must acknowledge the end of something good to make way for something great.

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