It was Flonda Scott Maxell who said, “You need to claim the events of your life to make your self yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.” I’ve always believed that if you are happy with who you are in this moment, you can’t ever really regret anything in your life, for every decision you have made has led you to the person you are today. It’s good to take stock of the person we are, to do a mental inventory of not just our flaws but also our positive characteristics. Reality is based in an honest view of both good and bad.
On this topic, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:
“Being ‘fierce with reality’ requires that we break through our denial about ourselves and our lives layer by layer. At some point in our lives, we need to stop and take a thorough inventory of who we are and what we have done. This fearless and searching inventory not only focuses upon the things we wish we had done in some other way, it also focuses upon our strengths and the things we have done right.
So many of us forget that taking stock of ourselves also means writing down what is good about us and the things we appreciate and like about ourselves. After all, honesty is not only about the mistakes, it is also about the good, the powerful, the creative, the loving, and the gentle, compassionate aspects of ourselves.”
The thing about perfectionists and people who do too much is that we always have our eye on the future. How can we get better? How can we improve? That leads us to focus only on our character flaws, our negative personality traits, our shortcomings and perceived failures in life. Being honest with ourselves is not just about admitting our mistakes and those things which we could do better. Being honest takes a fair and balanced view in which we account for our positives as well. Every person has strengths, those things they’re truly good at, which make them a great person in their own right. We must own every part of ourselves and our lives. We are pretty amazing when it comes down to it. We just don’t often see it, because we’re too focused on looking ahead.