Weekends are what we live for. They’re a time to decompress and relax from the stressors of the week. To break from the routine and structure of our workdays. I have always loved the weekend. Today’s meditation, however, gave me pause. When I stop to reconsider my position, I realize that I am not so comfortable with unstructured time as I first thought.
On the topic of weekends and unstructured time, Anne Wilson Schaef writes:
“Weekends are awful for women who do too much. We miss the structure of the work week. We do not like the lack of schedule, and we feel lost without our work.
To avoid experiencing these feelings, we have developed certain insurance strategies. We bring work home. We schedule our weekend projects and activities so that we almost have the secure feeling of being at work. We panic and go into the office ‘to pick up some things and tie up some loose ends.’”
Today’s passage opens with a quote that I relate to and which made me laugh: “I hate weekends. There’s no structure. How will I know what to do if I don’t have to do it?” I am not good at doing nothing or having nothing to do. I pervert the purpose of a weekend by filling it with a list of endless chores and tasks to complete. I make plans as if they were appointments to keep. I schedule my hobbies and fun into a structured routine that saps any enjoyment from them and turns them into one more box to check off on my master to-do list. It’s good to question why we do this. Why are we not comfortable simply being by ourselves, doing nothing? What are we so afraid of? The truth is we are afraid of ourselves. We don’t want to sit still and enjoy a moment of nothing, because it brings us too close to facing ourselves. It allows ourselves time for deep meditation and thought. For our fears, worries, and doubts to catch up with us. How sad! Isn’t it high time we realize we are amazing people and not the failures we think we are? Everyone has fears and doubts that plague us. The difference is that some people recognize their fears for what they are, ridiculous falsehoods, while others, like myself, give them far too much credence. We believe the nasty lies they whisper into our ears to be true. And so, we run from them with an endless pursuit of work. This wears us down. It’s time we stop and reexamine.